Monday, September 14, 2009


We live reciprocally. We've discussed it many times. What does this mean? We are all connected, we all affect each other. This has a ripple effect, which then affects everyone else we come in contact with. Everything we feel creates an energy within us that is felt by all those with whom we come in contact. What we feel shows on our face, our posture, the way we move and the way we speak. It is almost as if everyone else can hear our thoughts. How often does someone know what you are feeling while speaking on the telephone? Just by hearing the tone of your voice, what you are thinking is obvious to another human being that can't even see you. Something we are not always aware of. Usually, it's quite interesting to observe when it does occur. Watch your moods and see how they affect others. It does actually feel as if others are listening to your unspoken thoughts. This is proof that our souls are connected, it is obvious when you take a moment and observe it. Therefore, we must be especially vigilant in what we are thinking (since others can hear our silent thoughts and also be affected by them). What a tremendous responsibility to live with! Actually, quite the opposite is true. There is a magnificent gift waiting for us when we become aware of what we are thinking, when we know that others can feel what we are feeling and when we observe how others respond to our silent energy. That gift is the beauty of one. When we become aware, have the knowledge and then are able to put ourselves aside (our agenda, scripts and dreams) just for a moment...the precious gift appears. The gift is to realize that we can achieve whatever we want to receive from all our relationships because we are all connected.
The more we love, the more we will receive love.
The more we give, the more we will receive.
The more we treat others with kindness, the more kindness we will receive.
The same is true for bad.
If you treat others unkindly, you will also receive that unkindness.
What we give out, is what we receive.

The gift we receive is that we are actually the ones who benefit the most. It appears that we are having to make sacrifices for others, that we have to do all the work. When you try it, you will see that it actually feels good to be the one to give it first. Only when you treat others with kindness, compassion, forgiveness, mercy and love- will you realize how good it feels to be kind, to be compassionate, to be merciful and to be loving. This process is designed completely for our benefit! We become holy, purified and closer to Hashem. We are acting, living and breathing tzelem Elokim (being created in the image of Hashem).

Possible, not easy. It is so simple and definitely true. If you try it, you'll see it actually works. We get stuck. We are stuck in ourselves and we can't get out. We wait for others to pull us out. We wait for others to treat us nice, give to us, be kind to us, love us... then maybe, we will give it all back. If we can only turn around our thinking and realize that the best way to get the best results- is to be the first to give, whatever it is- you want to receive.

All of the giving that we are capable of doing in this world, from the 613 mitzvot of the Torah- to how we treat others, is there for us to benefit from. It is designed just for us. The mitzvot (commandments) appear as if we are doing them to give something to Hashem. When we live with the vision of being one, we realize that the mitzvot are the path for us to travel on, which enables us to elevate ourselves. We become holy, purified and closer in our relationship with Hashem. The same results occur when we practice this in our personal relationships. We think we are "doing things" for others. It appears that way. We often feel that we just give and don't receive much in return. When you give from your heart, pure and from goodness (and not from an obligation or responsibility), then you will feel the difference. You will know and it will be clear.... it is all for your benefit.

When we understand this, we realize it isn't so hard to take the first step to do that extra mitzvah, that little act of kindness, to reach out to someone who needs a gentle smile or kind words to ease their pain. It appears that it is for the other person.... remember, it's all for our benefit.

Our mussar challenge is to start with our self. Be the first to give from your heart. Take a moment away from ulterior motives and relationship obligations. Do it from your heart. Do it with love. Realize that the other person, from a stranger on the street to your closest loved one, is connected to you. We all exist to benefit each other. It is the way of the world. We are all partners. We serve each other. Each job one performs is there as a service for someone else to benefit from. Tailor, doctor, chef, lawyer, grocery clerk. We are all part of the human community. We are all important and we all need each other. Next time, you are running an errand, going to the grocery store, picking up or laundry or going to the doctor, take a moment to realize that you are receiving a service from someone who is there to serve you. Think of what you can do for them in return. It's all for your benefit!

To have a meaningful life filled with value, peace and love- you must live with this realization- it is the key to successful human relationships and it opens the door to a more joyful, loving and spiritually elevated- YOU!

L'Shana Tova! May you be written and inscribed for a sweet year of spiritual greatness,
accompanied by health and wealth!!

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